Santana: A baby? Santana: Sex is not dating. Kurt: She can't find out until after her Funny Girl audition, alright? I counted the number of times you’d smile at me, and I’d die on days that you didn’t. Maybe he finally got freaked out about your strange obsession with old people that causes you to skulk around nursing homes S.Y. Santana: I've kissed Finn, and can I just say... not worth a buck. We will be the undisputed top bitches in this school! - See 422 traveler reviews, 144 candid photos, and great deals for Santa Ynez, CA, at Tripadvisor. Homeless will be homeless for a while, that's sort of the problem. It was invented by breeders to sell cheap chocolate and false hope. And don't tell me it's 'cause the cafeteria food binds you up. Santana: I would love for things to get physical. Well because I realized the world is even colder than I am. Glee TV Show Wiki is a FANDOM TV Community. pas de frais. I assume you've been working as a baby polisher where young mothers place their infant's heads in your mouth to get back that new born shine. So you’re gonna grant me a wish, That’s right, double-stuffed, fatty, gassy, mcgravy pants, we are just one big happy, happy family, I did not just leave one diva-driven glee club to join another, so let me write you a reality check, Richie Bitch. Rory: Whoa. We love you and what you are doing! He literally just said that. As Kurt walked up to the house, a marching band came out, playing “All You Need Is Love,” immediately making up tear up. —Santana to Rachel, Tina in the Sky with Diamonds. Santana: Can I just say you are the hottest dentist I've ever seen? I'm like a lizard. Santana: I really hope that's not one of the requirements for Regionals because with Berry and those tights, we don't stand a chance. I'm sorry, would you mind just stepping outside for a moment while I bitch-slap some sense into my friend? Read and find out. You know, we always were two ends of the same bitch-goddess spectrum. —Santana to Mr. Schuester (about Quinn), Audition, Well, congratulations. Flawless. Santana: I wish you'd hold my hand. What is this, hmm? (After losing a fight with Lauren) That's how we do it in Lima Heights! Wanna put a fish hook in those lips so cherry red, No one gets it. Carl: I get that all the time. Santana: You wanna have a duel? When FOX announced their decision to move Glee exclusively to NYC for the rest of Season 5, the majority of fans were overjoyed. Puck: I flex my left pec, then I flex my right pec, and I say to the guy, ‘Leggo my Eggo.’ And you know what he does? I have known you both for years and I don't like either of you 90% of the time, in fact, your wide-eyed, Keane-painting approach to life makes my teeth hurt and my breasts ache with rage. This is toned down. That's how my abuela puts me to sleep at night, and she was not a nice lady. Kurt: Okay, I’m leaving.” — Glee: Kurt Hummel and Sue Sylvester - 06x04 The Hurt Locker, Part One (via gleekquote) (via gleekquote) "Kurt: Whereas I’m spending my summer composing Pip Pip Hooray, the Broadway musical about Pippa Middleton. Brittany: C'mon, we can't be mad at Rachel forever. It sucked. Jacob (noticing Santana's boob job): How was YOUR summer?Santana: My eyes are up here, Jewfro. Santana: Hey Finnocence. It's exhausting to look at you. [voiceover] How is this possible? But in the meantime, I do have one more wish. And if you tell anyone this, I'll deny it - but I like being in Glee Club. I did. Guppy face, trouty mouth. Maybe in junior college. ", "Show that pastry bag Finn that he can't mess with Sam Evans. You trying to turn her into a damn rexy? She talked about him yesterday and practically sprayed the choir room. Santana: It's a nice break from all that scissoring. Sophomore year, I used to sit in this back row and secretly watch you. One, leprechauns like fixing shoe buckles because they’re gay. Santana: Hello Lauren. Whatever. See here's what's gonna go down. Carl: You all have a hole to fill and I'm just trying to help fill it. You know what? Yeah, earlier today Artie asked if he could make a gigantic omelet when I’m done with the ostrich eggs I’m smuggling in my bra. The arrangement, the vocals, the choreography, and the significance of the context all combined in a perfect storm of musical brilliance. Oh please. —Santana about Brad, Saturday Night Glee-ver. —Santana and Carl, The Rocky Horror Glee Show. Most of this isn't mine anyway.". Cello guys can you hang back for a second, I’m gonna need you for this one. Santana: (laughs) You suck at so many things. So what am I doing heading to Kentucky? Or maybe it didn't work out because you're a judgmental little gentrophile with a mouth like a cat's ass. I mean I didn’t start playing doctor ‘til I was nine. Come on, Quinn. If everyone just put out, we would have a winning football team. I think somebody needs to freeze the fat this Christmas, because somebody weighs more than Mrs. Claus!. —Santana, about Quinn and Finn, Silly Love Songs. Forgetting her friends, Quinn is … I love you a-and I don't want to be with Sam or Finn or any of those other guys. Santana: A star is a star, it doesn't matter where in the sky it shine. However, it is later mentioned in Yes/No that Finn's father died from a drug overdose. Santana: First of all, anything you do became my business when you decided to toss that slushie up in my grill. Finn led them to a tent in the middle of the grounds, and when Kurt followed in after him, he covered his mouth with one hand so he wouldn’t laugh at the sight of Sebastian, sound asleep on the ground, trussed up so he couldn’t escape. I need something warm beneath me or else I can't digest my food. Wait... was that supposed to say lesbian? —Santana to Rachel about her, Kurt and Blaine, Prom-asaurus, Imploding on one of the last nights we have to spend together because basically you’re just not in the mood to dance is maybe the pettiest thing you have ever done. I ordered shrimp! Then salt to taste. Meanwhile, the hijinks of Big Apple roomies Rachel, Santana and Kurt were largely considered the best and most refreshing part of the show. Artie: We assumed it was you. Santana: I'm sure you did something. You told coach Sylvester about my summer surgery! Doesn't my presidential campaign need continuity? Before he could speak, the boy rushed through the door. Finn and Rachel come face-to-face for the first time since their harsh breakup—but … Santana: The man who lives next door finally killed off his elderly mother and when the police came they left the whole place like wide open. And we’re lesbians. ", Today is your lucky day, because Auntie Snicks just arrived on the Bitch Town Express. The gorgeous 22 Jump Street and Magic Mike star calls it ‘The Dick Graze’ and insists in a fun video parody that it’s ‘the new craze.’ ‘That’s just a little way I like to say hello. I feel like Michelle Obama. —Santana to Rachel about her opening night, Opening Night. I want to shine and be seen as the star I am. We did nothing to help. [points at Rachel] Finn: I said I thought you were great. No one gives a damn about you. (Points at kid)...bye. Santana: I'm not! Yeah, I mean, who knows? Sam: I have no idea who that is but it sounds totally awesome." Santana: Do you think this voodoo doll looks enough like Rachel Berry to actually work? Brittany: Really? Quinn: Sexting? I mean my girlfriend girlfriend. When we had sex, Finn never stopped asking me if I was okay the whole time. I mean, if he were dating, say, popular pretty girls like us, he would go from dumpy to smokin'. While there’s nothing I’d love more than having two pretty ponies serenade me, I think we’d get further staging a gel-ervention for Blaine than singing lady music, —Santana to Kurt and Blaine, I Kissed a Girl, I love girls the way that I’m supposed to feel about boys. I guess those contracts I signed for those commercials said that I waived my right to residuals, in exchange for a lifetime supply of Yeast-I-Stat. Kurt: To get back at Puck, aren't you guys dating? We know. Dec 27, 2018 | By James Lewing. Twitter update! His hair's already starting to grow back. Popular Quizzes Today. Go. Does he get so turned on by teen moms who barely visit their kid? Santana: Booyah. Rachel: For the hundredth time, okay, if you keep making fun of Brody- which means I have a killer health plan which pays for everything. Santana: This is all YOUR fault! I have awesome gay-dar. And their true value lies in being so applicable to everyday situations. Santana: That is the lamest thing I didn't understand a word of. —Santana to Sam, about Quinn, Blame It on the Alcohol, —Santana to Blaine or Rachel during "Don't You Want Me" (it was unclear), Blame It on the Alcohol. Bartender: Sorry ladies, can I see some IDs? Santana: “Well that outfit isn’t helping. Trent: Wait, are you serious, is he gonna be okay? Brittany: God, I'm so sad. Tags: a little late with lilly singh, Lilly Singh, roast, comedy roast, roast of santa claus, santa claus, comedy roast of santa claus, Kurt Braunohler, Beth Stelling, ron funches Finn: If [Rachel] found out she'd break up with me. I have rage. (Claps). 'Oh, you're one to talk. [puts a napkin over her and Brittany's hands]. Quinn: (scoffs) Whatever. (Rachel starts crying) Oh God. Rachel:Ok You know what Santana, Finn is in great shape and your meanness just highlights your own personal insecurities. ", Rachel's most iconic song, Barbra Streisand's "Don't Rain On My Parade. And that includes your little hand jive, that to me looked more like a hand j…”, —Santana to Quinn about Kitty, Thanksgiving. Did you know she tried to sell me once? Santana: Look, I'm pretty sure you have to do what we say. Kurt being bullied Kurt being bullied ... Roast beef on pumpernickel Roast beef on pumpernickel ... Santana 15. Leprechaun, starring a young Jen Aniston, is my favorite movie. ” ... Kurt: Except in this case, a "bear" refers to a burly, gay MAN. He's made of magic. Attack me with your exfoliating loofah? I like how you guys pretend to be all accepting about everything but when your friend suddenly shows up in your home, moves in and goes through all your stuff... you're offended. But I gots to say I finally feel like I have found my people. You know what, this is not- Hey honeys, it's not a Big Red commercial. (Will asks about Christmas tree) Will: And the ornaments? You know, and the only thing that can keep you from freezing to death is to have good friends around you to keep you warm. Santana: You're addicted to vests. A former Howard County parks worker who lived in the house was charged with killing Esteban "Steve" Santana Jr., 31, and Kurt J. Benkert, 26, both … Take your favorite fandoms with you and never miss a beat. I just can't. Alright, you know what Rachel? Santana: Look, I've got a bar of soap and a bottle of peroxide with your name on it in my locker. Sebastian: Trent, I got this. You're my family and I haven't lied to you in months. Two choices: you stay here and I crack one of your nuts,right or left, that's your choice, or you walk away and live to be a douchebag another day. Santana: (at Finn) Everyone's gonna know now, because of you. ", "Every time you open your humongous mouth to do an impression or moisten an enormous stamp for a lazy giant, you take one step closer to everyone seeing that you are actually a dork. Barely legal. But you know what? See I don’t go here anymore, sue, and that means I can finally tell you exactly what I think of you. Rory: Hey, listen here. Santana: What if I broke that pact, huh? Thanks Matt and Maryann! Every time he opens his dream boat acapella mouth, you're just itching to kick him right in the Warblers. Is a drug dealer! In that case, I would like to send one to my girlfriend, Brittany. With who's vagina? Can't tell you how many times I wanted to enjoy a crisp pickle, but couldn't find anyone to suck the lid off the jar. I've waited 5 years for this. (slaps Quinn across face). Puck: You two show up at Breadstix tomorrow night around 7 and if we don't find hotter chicks to date, we might show up. I've been keeping a notebook just in case this day ever came: Welcome back Lisa Rinna, I've missed you so much since your family packed their bags, loaded them in your mouth and skipped town. Starting out as a backup for foil/antagonist Quinn Fabray (Dianna Agron), Santana was not much more than a stand out Cheerio or promiscuous girl for the main boys to get into trouble with. When Santana strutted into that auditorium belting out the famous showtune, the look of shock on Rachel's face alone was worth it. Santana: Well sure, if he doesn’t care about seeing in three dimension. You are not playing Yente the lesbian match maker. —Santana, Kurt, and Rachel, Guilty Pleasures. Schuester and Santana, Never Been Kissed. ... As satisfying as it is to have been gifted enough rotisserie ovens to roast an entire hobo, for me the real joy of Christmas was breaking the collective heart of the Glee Club. Rachel: I don't know what you're talking about. Hey! And also sorry that you have no talent. And just when you thought it couldn't get any gayer...it does. Le plus grand catalogue de films gratuits du Web. I mean, really, I'm sorry that the New Directions are gonna get crushed by the Troubletones. Just admit it! Television Quiz / Santana Roasts Kurt Random Television Quiz Santana really was the best character on Glee. Your pretty little liar gave them to her. Santana: Hey Tubs! Television Quiz / Santana Roasts Kurt Random Television Quiz Santana really was the best character on Glee. Wait, something’s definitely wrong. It's more of my speed. Santana: You did this to me! And not just because you can unlock your humongous jaw and swallow him whole like a python. Hosted by the Festival of Trees. Santana: Well that's good, cause I hear your professors are into that. This is garbage. Lumps, let me just say out loud what everyone here is thinking. Scrape the eggplant from skin and pulse until finely chopped. Santana: The truth about what? Quinn: Emily Stark. And maybe if you used them, you wouldn't have more oil than the Middle East on your face. You know? ", Her complicated relationship with fellow Cheerio Brittany often brought out the surprisingly tender side of the usually caustic Santana, as the two girls gradually explored their feelings and sexuality over the course of three seasons. And since this is Glee, all duels are settled through song. Performance at Wiseguys Live Comedy in West Jordan. If I did, would you join me? Yeah, it’s beautiful, but someone’s gotta help her cross the street, Santana: Britt, I want to talk about, you know, that thing we never talk about. —Santana (about Jesse), -The Power of Madonna. Brittany: It's just a stupid crown. If he doesn’t get it then he doesn’t deserve to have you as his campaign manager. We love Dark roast coffee, and San Marcos is really good. 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